Quotes from American Pie by Finch, Stiffler and Others

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American Pie is an awesome series of films. Jim, Stiffler, Oz, Kevin and Finch are part of many guys teenage years, giving memories to us all growing up! I used to watch the films wanting to be these guys, or maybe not when Jim glued his hand to his own nuts, but a lot of the other times I wanted to be them.

Here are some really funny quotes from the different movies. Instead of creating a post for each film we have just gone with one big one.

Funny Lines

  • Jim’s dad (about the pie) “We’ll just tell your mother we ate it all.”
  • Stiffler “I’m gunna hang out with my wang out.”
  • Nadia “I believe ‘shaved’ is the expression.”
  • Oz “Friends call me Nova, as in Casanova.”
  • Stiffler “Jim, can’t you keep your shirt on? You’re scaring the chicks away.”
  • Sherman “I’m a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady.”
  • Jim “I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.”
  • Stiffler “My dick looks like a corn dog and I’ve got cake all over my balls.”
  • Michelle “This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy.”
  • Jim’s dad “Back in the day we called it a beaver.”
  • Stiffler “Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.”
  • Finch “God bless the internet.”
  • Jim’s dad “Keep it real homies.”
  • Michelle “Hey! Remember that one time, at band camp, when we licked whipped cream off each others…”
  • Milf guy “Dude that chicks a milf!”
  • Stiffler “When a girl tells you how many guy’s she has slept with multiply it by three and that’s the real number.”
  • Finch “Oh Stiffler’s mom!”

About The Movies

American Pie, released on July 9, 1999, is the first of a series of teen movies by Adam Herz. Due to the movie’s success it has three direct sequels, with the first two coming out in two-year intervals, and the third having been released in 2012. The series also includes four spin-offs, with a ninth movie announced.

The original film follows high school friends Jim Levenstein, Kevin Myers, Paul Finch, Chris “Oz” Ostreicher, and Steve Stifler in their quest to lose their virginity before their high school graduation.

The first sequel, American Pie 2, has the group planning a party at a summer beach house, with Jim once again trying to seduce the exchange student Nadia, his crush from the original film, but instead comes to realize his feelings for Michelle, his prom date.

In American Wedding, Jim proposes to Michelle, while his friends work on arranging the wedding.

American Reunion, released thirteen years after the original, shows the group as adults. Jim and Michelle are married with a kid, Kevin has also married, while Oz, Finch, continue their search for love.

The spin-offs all follow Stifler’s relatives, whether his brother Matt, or cousins Erik, Dwight, and Scott.

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