Here is a collection of classic funny blonde jokes. If you have blonde hair please don’t be silly and take offence to these jokes, remember the definition of joke (a humorous remark not to be taken seriously!). Enjoy.
Funny Blonde jokes
A blonde phones her mum and says “mum I’m smarter than I thought!” Her mum answers “why honey?”. She responds saying “remember that puzzle I’ve been working on for the last 2 years?” Mum says “yes”, the blonde responds “well on the box it says 3-4 years!”
A blind guy is on a barstool and shouts to the bartender “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” In a hushed voice, the guy sitting next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde and so is the bounce. I’m a 6ft tall, 200lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The chap to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler! Every single one of us has blonde hair. Think about it. Do you still wanna tell that joke?” The blind guy responds, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it 5 times!”
A Russian, American, and a Blonde are chatting one day. The Russian says, “We were the first in space” The American says, “We were the first on the moon” The Blonde says, “So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!” The Russian and American look at each other and shake their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you stupid idiot, you’ll burn!” says the Russian. To which the Blonde replies, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”
A policeman pulls a car over on a quiet rural road and approaches the blonde lady driver. “Excuse me lady, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road?” She replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here, I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!” Reaching through the side window to the rearview mirror, the officer replies, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener.”
There was a blonde driving down the highway listening to the radio. The presenter was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until she was so mad she turned the radio off. A mile later, she sees another blonde out in a cornfield in a boat rowing. She stopped her car, jumped out and yelled, “It’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”