Jethro Jokes – Brilliant British Comedian Quotes!

The veteran funny man, known as “the cream of cornish comedy”, has made lot’s of great performances over the years.

Jethro Jokes Told It My WayOne of his best ever live tour DVD’s was released back in 2010. It was called, “I Told it My Way”. If you ever get a chance to see it then it’s worth watching, so many filthy jokes! But in the meantime let’s celebrate this fantastic British comic and get together for some funny jethro jokes.

List of some of his gags

Alcohol:
Alcohol killed my first wife. I got home drunk one night and shot her.

Shaving your pubes:
We had this Polish woman staying with us and my wife run her a bath and when she turned round the woman was completely hairless down there….looked like a money box!

Plastic surgery:
I’m not in very good mood. My wife, the cow, I lend her a thousand pounds to have plastic surgery, now I can’t get the money back and I don’t know who to look for.

Tattoos:
Classic Jethro joke about his wifeMy wife knew that I was a big fan of Bridgette Bardot so she thought it’d be a sexy surprise if she had a ‘B’ tattooed on each of her arse cheeks. When I came into the bedroom she was on all fours as she asked ‘Who does that make you think of?’ and all I could think of was ‘Bob’!

Safe sex:
I was giving this girl a portion up against a chip shop and it was pretty wild. I explained to her that I’d not had it in 2 years because I’d been in the VD clinic. She replied ‘How’s the food? I’m going in tomorrow!’.

Fish:
A guy walks into a chip shop with a cod under his arm. “Here, do you sell Fish Cakes?”, chip shop guy says “sorry No”. “Shame that, it was his birthday today”.

Keeping the wife sweet:
I’d been out drinking til 4.15 in the morning and there’s the bastard wife waiting on the doorstep with a broom. She didn’t seem to like it when I asked her ‘Are you late finishing cleaning or are you going for a flight?’

Christmas:
I bought her a car for Christmas. She said ‘that’s no good to me, I want something that will go from 0-160 in 3 seconds’. So I bought her bathroom scales.

Classic DVDs

If you are a long-time fan of Jethro you are probably aware he has released a lot of material, here’s a sample of some of the DVDs for sale. What’s even better is that they can be picked up super cheap!

Worth buying for your own collection or as a gift if you know someone who is a fan of his.

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