Famous for his quick-fire one-line gags Mr Vine’s comedy is very cheesy, but the type that is hard not to laugh at. On TV he was also a regular in Not Going Out, a BBC comedy by Lee Mack.
In 2004 Tim went into the Guinness World Record Book for the most jokes told in 1 hour. He managed 499 which is quite ridiculous. What is even more ridiculous is that it was broken by an Aussie 7 months later who managed 549! However, the Australian read his jokes off paper, whereas Tim performed his from memory.
If you like this comedian he has quite a few DVDs you can get, including Joke-amotive. And if you want to see him live don’t forget to keep an eye out for his latest tour dates.
Here is a list of some good ones.
Funny one line jokes by Time Vine
- “I get a lot of presents from my next door neighbours, a lovely Italian family called the Ratzi’s. The dads a bit annoying, Papa Ratzi.”
- “So I was playing football on a plane. It was amazing, I was running up the wing.”
- “What do you call a bundle of straw in a church? Christian Bale.”
- “I tell you what often gets overlooked; garden fences.”
- “I went to Sootees BBQ, and I had a sweep steak.”
- “So I watched a football match in Japan. At the end they started doing martial arts. I said to the bloke next to me what’s going on; he said there are 2 minutes of ninja-ry time.”
- “I was reading a book about the history of glue and I couldn’t put it down.”
- “Velcro, what a rip-off.”
- “I got a job as a litter removal man, didn’t have any training. Just thought id pick it up as I go along.”
- “Black beauty; he’s a dark horse.”
- “I was mucking about in a lesson when a teacher told me to stand outside. It was a flying lesson.”
- “Do you like photography; snap.”
- I was working into a health food shop. This bloke walked in he said evening primrose oil. I said Miss Divine to you.
More about this comedian
Let’s list 5 fun fast facts!
- His full name is Timothy Mark Vine
- He was born on March 4th in 1967 in Cheam, Surrey, England.
- Tim has been featured in television, music, theatre, and has also contributed to books. His television appearances date back to the 1990’s with the show Whittle.
- He was also in a band with his brother, called The Flared Generation.
- The funny-man broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in one hour with 499. Each joke told had to get a positive response to be counted. He made this milestone in 2004 and held the record for seven months until an Australian comedian out-joked him by 50.
- He supports Sutton United F.C., is an avid darts player and a fan of cricket.
They sure were fun fact, weren’t they! If you want to see Tim’s latest giggles you can follow him on Twitter, his handle is @RealTimeVine, here is an example of one of his comical tweets.
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