Family Guy Episode Quotes – Hilarious Lines by Peter and Others

Griffin Family
Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, Stewie and Brian – the Griffin Family
Despite it’s strong American roots Family Guy has been a massive success worldwide. Here we have put together some of the funniest quotes.

They have made hundreds of episodes so it is a bit tricky to squeeze all the best bits in to one page. If you want to watch the different series again they have been released on DVD, some in large boxsets.

Funny lines from Family Guy

  • Quagmire – Hello, 911? It’s Quagmire. Yeah, it’s caught in the window this time.
  • Peter – Shut up Meg
  • Herbert – you want a popsicle?
  • Stewie – Greeks have always been gross and still are.
  • Museum tour guide [in reply to Peter asking why Dinosaurs died] – Because you touch yourself at night.
  • Tom Tucker – Let’s go live to Ollie Williams with the blackie weather report.
  • Herbert – I’m missing boy meets world for this.
  • Greased Up Deaf Guy – Let me know if you guys wanna streak with me!
  • Peter – You’d better watch who you’re calling a child, Lois. Because if I’m a child, you know what that makes you? A Paedophile. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna be lectured by a pervert.
  • Mort Goldman to Herbert – What kind of birdhouse can you build with popsicles, roofies and a rubber mallet?
  • Peter – Hey Chris, I bought ya a bull frog, poked some holes in it’s back so it can breathe.
  • Brian – who’s leg you gotta hump to get a drink round here.
  • Quagmire – Giggity!
  • Stewie – Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint. It’s in my diaper and it’s not a toaster.
  • Herbert – Get your fat ass back here.
  • Peter – Oh haven’t you heard? The bird is the word! Ah well a bird, bird, bird, b-birds the word!

About Family Guy

The American TV show, “Family Guy” made its debut on January 31, 1999. This animated comedy created by Seth MacFarlane centres around the Griffin family. Peter and Louis, along with their three children Chris, Meg, and Stewie live in Quahog, Rhode Island with their talking dog Brian.

The show relies on parody for much of its comedy, often poking fun at American Culture, and pushing the envelope with crude humour. The show is often controversial and has faced several lawsuits in the past. Fans find the show entertaining and hilarious, while those who are offended by it seem to find that they can’t stop watching either!

Aside from the Griffin family, the show has a colourful cast of characters including their sex-crazed, perverted neighbour Glenn Quagmire; the cop-next-door, who is a paraplegic in a wheelchair, Joe Swanson, and his wife Bonnie; and Adam West who plays himself as the mayor Quahog.

The success of the show has landed one spin-off – The Cleveland show – based on former neighbour Cleveland Brown‘s life after he moves away following a nasty divorce.

Say what you will about the crude humour, Family Guy is a huge success. With fourteen seasons under its belt and thirteen Emmy nominations, with four wins, the show is a popular icon of American Comedy.

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