Hilarious Inbetweeners Quotes by Jay, Simon, Will and Neil

It all began back in 2008, when the first series was shown on E4. Damon Beesley and Iain Morris were the two geniuses who created and wrote the TV program. In total 3 series were made, each consisting of 6 episodes. Peak viewing figures came as the program reached it’s conclusion with the last 2 episodes both receiving just over 3.7million viewers. In the summer of 2011 The Inbetweeners Movie hit cinemas. It carried on very much in the style of the TV series and sticking the winning recipe paid off, the film was awesome! They followed it up with a second hilarious movie set in Australia, in the summer of 2014, it was a smash hit grossing over £12million it is first weekend, which was the largest opening of any film in 2014.

Let’s relive some hilarious moments with some of the funniest lines and awesome Inbetweeners quotes from all the main characters. They are taken from all 3 series and both movies.

Quotes by Simon

  • SimonThis is a mans drink, if you don’t want it I’ll have it, and if you can’t take me like this well I’m sorry babes, but this is the package.
  • Im gonna fuck your fucking fanny off you twat. (talking dirty)
  • Do it, get big, get big. (whacking his wang)
  • Football friend!
  • Brilliant.
  • Ive had 210 wanks and my cocks like a Peperami.

Quotes and one-liners by Jay


  • Alright benders, you missed me then.
  • If there’s grass on the pich, play ball.
  • He shoot’s, he scores, right up the vag.
  • I’m off to find the clunge.
  • There’s a whole world of pussy out there.
  • The gash isn’t going to fuck itself you know.
  • Bus wankers!
  • Morning benders, jump in the minge mobile.
  • A cow, it charged at me. So had to knock it out, one punch.
  • Im off for a quick tug.
  • Wait for the gash to form an orderly queue.
  • Im just really good at shagging now, thats all Im saying.
  • To the pussay!
  • She’d definitely get it, right up the bumhole.
  • Nahhh I’m not allowed [to revise], teachers say cuz I’ve got a photographic memory it wouldn’t be fair on the other kids.
  • Wear your wellies Neil. Because you’ll be knee deep in Grammar school clunge.
  • Oh, I’m gonna have to go, got a missed call from Ralph Lauren.
  • How’s count spakular [Will] being getting on?
  • Simons got a boner!
  • I can’t believe you lost the muff wagon.
  • They’re only daffodils, fucking little show-offs. Look at me, I’m out first, I’m all yellow.
  • This girls so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny.

Quotes by Will

  • WillWill – Old skool wedgie, squashing the balls now.
  • Oh it was going quite well then she realised I’m a massive dickhead and pulled some other bloke.
  • I thought it was a fart sir, I thought it was safe.
  • I have never put my penis in a lady.
  • Feisty one you are.
  • You bumder! (to Neil’s dad)

Quotes by Neil

  • NeilI don’t think I’ve ever been on the internet without having a wank.
  • More special then them twins that only wanted anal?
  • Ive never loved anything before, apart from a car or a sandwich.
  • Yeah go on, muff before mates.
  • Can one of you’s help me I think she might be a two man job.
  • I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog spelt backwards.
  • How much lego can you stuff up your bum?
  • Oooh friend.

Other Characters Quotes

  • Gilbert Head TeacherGilbert – Piss off and let me get this final piece of hell over with!
  • Gilbert – Well McKenzie, you see in my role as a non virgin I’ve got better things to be doing with my time.
  • Jay’s dad – So you bank with the pig? (asking Jay if he’s had sex with Chloe)
  • Jay’s dad – Women are like fairground rides, fucking mental!
  • Simon’s dad – I think me and your mum noshed one up in the shed once.

If you are a fellow lover of the program and still find it hilarious you can buy the DVDs, some of them are quite cheap if you buy them used.

Before you move on to somewhere else, how about one quick hilarious clip?

All images are unique screendumps from a variety of episodes. All content copyright of respective owners.

4 thoughts on “Hilarious Inbetweeners Quotes by Jay, Simon, Will and Neil

  1. Wow it is amazing to find someone who prefers the US version of the Inbetweeners. On IMDB 43% of reviewers gave it 1 star out of 10! I watched it and thought it was horrible, as did most others judging by the reviews. But that’s the great thing about life, we all have different taste 🙂

  2. Haha I love this show!
    I think the american series are better, they have better humor in my opinion!
    Same thing with The Office, originally a UK show but it did better in the US.

  3. It was confirmed in August this year they are making a second movie. It is expected to be out in the autumn of 2014. So it will be back 😀

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