Hugh Dennis – Funny British Comedian Quotes

An actor, comedian, impressionist and writer who began his comedy career doing voices for Spitting Image, this is Hugh Dennis. Together with comedy partner Steve Punt, who he met as a Cambridge University student, he formed half of The Mary Whitehouse Experience.

Hugh Dennis During PerformanceDennis has performed on various TV and radio shows, including My Hero, in which he took the role of obnoxious GP Piers Crispin. He has guest hosted Have I Got News for You, stars in BBC sitcom Outnumbered, detailing the lives of a middle-class London couple and their three children, and is in great demand as a voiceover artist.

Here are some funny jokes by this popular comedian.

  • In my experience, the married man’s allowance is… about once a month. (At taxation awards ceremony.)
  • When asked what the Queen would not say in her Christmas speech:
    “Yum, I’ve just eaten a swan,” or: “This year, I am in an unusual location – I am in a cave with Osama Bin Laden.”
  • Sat Nav is terrible. You know when people have a Sat Nav on as they’re not looking at anything; they’ve no idea where they’ve gone, or where they are going.
  • On ways not to start a party political broadcast: My fellow pedophiles…
  • Viewers of a nervous disposition may be interested to know that your television is off and I am speaking to you from inside your head.
  • I’m sure there’s a connection between what I do now and what my father (a bishop) did – both of us dress up and stand in front of lots of people.
  • Itchy skin, dry flaking scalp? You disgust me!
  • Tired of a messy toolbox? Then you need the Abu Hamza multi-tool! (From Mock the Week, when asked to describe what a television announcer is unlikely to say.)
  • You may be interested to know that I’m completely naked and playing with myself. (From Mock the Week, unlikely things to be said in programme indents.)

See Hugh in action in Mock the Week, doing his ‘showaddywaddy’ line:

Mock the Week returned to BBC2 in June, and the second DVD of the series is out now. Catch Hugh in Outnumbered on the BBC, or watch repeats on Sky Channel Gold.

Image used under creative commons license, flickr/dantaylor.

One thought on “Hugh Dennis – Funny British Comedian Quotes

  1. i love hugh dennis he is hillarious, infact i stopped him in an alleyway in london not so long ago. x

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