Funny Valentine’s quotes and sayings

Here’s a collection of funny Valentine’s quotes and sayings about love, relationships and sex!

Remember to never feel obligated to buy gifts for Valentine’s Day or to do anything, for many it is just an opportunity to have a bit of fun 🙂 As the old saying goes, “life is what you make it”. With that being said here are some great quotes you may relate to.

A cute love heart to make you smile

“Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.”

Jimmy Dean

“I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.”

David Bissonette

“Men aren’t necessities, they are luxuries.”


“I need more sex, OK? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world.”

Angelina Jolie

“That’s one of those things about being a computer science major: Valentine’s Day is just another day.”

Jawed Karim

“Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.”

Fulton J. Sheen

“I’d rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.”

Emma Goldman

“I always believed there’s a fine line between love and hate.”

Susan Blommaert

“My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.”

Rodney Dangerfield

“I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”

Robert Orben

Know of any more, or maybe you’ve thought of your own? If so, you can add them in the comments section below.

We hope this curated list of funny Valentine’s quotes and sayings has made you laugh!

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