Dirty Valentine’s Jokes To Make Your Lover Squirm!

Letā€™s tuck in to this set of dirty Valentineā€™s jokes that you may find funny.

These are strictly for adults only because many of them are a bit rude, but not all of them! If youā€™re easily offended these are not for you šŸ™‚

Dirty Valentineā€™s one-liners

  • (so cute!) You make me feel just like a unicorn ā€“ very wild and horny.
  • (for a not so subtle way of asking her for sex) Let my pork see your pie!
  • (one for the ladies to tell your partner) I love you with all my tits!
  • (could be for a friend you love) Iā€™m so glad your mum didnā€™t swallow
  • (ideal WhatsApp sexting message) Happy Valentineā€™s Day, fancy a shag?
  • (adorable) I love you from the bottom of my cock

And how about these silly valentineā€™s jokes:

  • How do you know Valentineā€™s Day is about to become a religious holiday?
    Because people everywhere are screaming, ā€œOh God!ā€ all night long.
  • Why did the banana go out with the prune?
    Because it couldnā€™t get a date.
  • What happens if you fall in love with a French chef?
    You get buttered up.
  • What do squirrels give on Valentineā€™s Day?
  • What did one pickle say to the other at the Valentineā€™s Day party?
    Stop being such a big dill!
  • What does a farmer give to his partner on Valentineā€™s Day?
    Hogs and kisses!
  • Why did the tomato turn red on Valentineā€™s Day?
    Because it saw the salad dressing!

If youā€™ve got your partner close by and youā€™re in the mood for more fun why not play our Valentineā€™s game for couples!

These are some of the best dirty Valentineā€™s jokes we know of but if you know better ones share them in the comments below.

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