Harry Hill Jokes

Known for his surreal style and big collars, former doctor, author, comedian and TV presenter Harry Hill started his career on radio before landing his own Channel 4 series in 1997. Four years later he switched to ITV to present Harry Hill’s TV Burp, which had run for nine series by spring 2010. The BAFTA award-winning show takes a hilarious look at the week’s TV, with clips and an often side-splittingly funny commentary.

The All New Harry Hill Show aired on ITV, and in 2003, the Observer named Hill as one of British comedy’s 50 funniest acts. He has written a string of books, including novels and TV tie-ins, and is in demand as a voice-over artist, providing the commentary for You’ve Been Framed. In 2008 he won two Baftas, bagging another in 2009 for best entertainment performance. In 2009 he scooped two British Comedy Awards.

Here are some funny lines by Harry

  • A dolphin jumps out of the water for a fish – so imagine what he’d do for chips!
  • Why is it only Tudor buildings we mock?
  • Want to know where your post has come from? Run after your postman shouting ‘1-4-7-1!’
  • Not just jockeys – I think all small men should have to wear a number.
  • I was decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don’t get on with my real ladder.
  • When you buy a V-neck sweater there’s a V of material missing. They send it to Ann Summers and she makes those fancy pants.
  • I remember the shouts of “Scab!” as my father went to work during the great dermatologists’ strike.
  • I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer to wash my face.
  • (Often repeated line) What are the chances of that happening?

Watch a rare clip of some early Harry Hill stand-up from Saturday Live in 1996 here:


  1. Georgia Kane says:

    Ilove erveythingyou do now!

  2. Omg,, your book is like amazing !

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