Funny Hugh Dennis Jokes!

An actor, comedian, impressionist and writer who began his comedy career doing voices for Spitting Image, this is Hugh Dennis. Together with comedy partner Steve Punt, who he met as a Cambridge University student, he formed half of The Mary Whitehouse Experience and has gone to be very successful!

Dennis has performed on various TV and radio shows, including My Hero, in which he took the role of obnoxious GP Piers Crispin. He has guest-hosted Have I Got News for You, stars in BBC sitcom Outnumbered, detailing the lives of a middle-class London couple and their three children, and is in great demand as a voiceover artist. Here are funny jokes by Hugh Dennis:

• In my experience, the married man’s allowance is… about once a month. (At taxation awards ceremony.)
• When asked what the Queen would not say in her Christmas speech:
  “Yum, I’ve just eaten a swan,” or: “This year, I am in an unusual location – I am in a cave with Osama Bin Laden.”
• Sat Nav is terrible. You know when people have a Sat Nav on as they’re not looking at anything; they’ve no idea where they’ve gone, or where they are going.
• On ways not to start a party political broadcast: My fellow paedophiles…
• Viewers of a nervous disposition may be interested to know that your television is off and I am speaking to you from inside your head.
• I’m sure there’s a connection between what I do now and what my father (a bishop) did – both of us dress up and stand in front of lots of people.
• Itchy skin, dry flaking scalp? You disgust me!
• Tired of a messy toolbox? Then you need the Abu Hamza multi-tool! (From Mock the Week, when asked to describe what a television announcer is unlikely to say.)
• You may be interested to know that I’m completely naked and playing with myself. (From Mock the Week, unlikely things to be said in programme indents.)

Image used under creative commons license, flickr/dantaylor.