10 Proper Dirty Jokes

Previously I have posted a page of dirty limericks, which went down very well with many people contributing their own in the comments section, it’s turned in to a bit of a beast of a post!

However there isn’t yet have a dirty jokes page, so inspired by the goodriddlesnow dirty jokes section of their website I have picked my faves and I hope you like them too. If you know of more filth you can add it in the comments section at the bottom.

What is green and eats nuts?
Syphilis.

How is a 9 volt battery like your girlfriend’s asshole?
You know you shouldn’t, but your gonna put your tongue on it eventually.

How did the guy go to the costume party as premature ejaculation?
He just came in his pants!

What’s the difference between eating pussy and driving through fog?
When you’re eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.

Have you heard about the deaf gynecologist?
Don’t worry, he’s a lip reader.

Why was the old computer sad?
He had a floppy disc.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has its pricks on the outside.

What is similar between men and women?
They both need a tissue after watching a good movie.

What’s the difference between your penis and your paycheck?
A woman always wants to blow your paycheck.

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?
Piece of cake.