7 Of The Best Funny Limericks

Here is a small collection of some of the most popular funny limericks:

There once was a man called Reg,
Who went with a girl in a hedge,
Along came his wife,
With a big carving knife,
And cut off his meat and two veg!

There once was an artist named Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint,
All shades of the spectrum,
Flowed out of his rectum,
With a colourful lack of restraint!

There once was a man from Kanass,
His nuts were made out of brass,
In stormy weather,
They’d clack together,
And lightning shot out his ass!

There once was a girl from Nantucket,
Who crossed the sea in a bucket,
And when she got there,
They asked for a fare,
So she pulled up her dress and said f*uck it!

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all of his cash in a bucket,
But his daughter named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket Nan took it!

A chap who lived in New Guinea,
Was known as a silly young ninny,
He utterly lacked,
Good judgment and tacked,
For he told a fat girl she was skinny!

There was a young lady from Vanvaper,
Who wiped her butt with brown paper,
Though the paper was thin,
So her fingers slipped in,
She no longer used that brown paper!

These are a bit saucy and not safe for kids, just the way it should be on this website!

If you have any more good limericks you are welcome to post them in the section below. Thanks to those who have contributed theirs, more are always welcome a they are very good.


  1. There once was a fellow named cager
    Who , as the result of a wager
    Promised to fart
    The entire oboe part
    Of Mozart’s 5th in F major

  2. joanne claire russell says:

    There was a young man from Devizes,
    Who had ears of different sizes
    One was small, hardly anything at all
    And the other was big and won prizes

  3. Jeff Cole says:

    There once was a woman named Dot
    Who lived on pig shit and snot
    When she ran out of these
    She ate the green cheese
    Which grew from the sides of her twat.

  4. There once was a man from Nantucket,
    Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
    One day he said with a grin
    As he wiped off his chin, “if my mouth was a cunt I could fuck it”

  5. Ashok Jadhav says:

    A keen scented veteran of Tachoma,
    was awarded a special diploma,
    for his telling apart,
    a feminine fart,
    from a similar masculine aroma.

  6. Ashok Jadhav says:

    There was a man from Bangore,
    who once said to his whore,
    If you will just roll over,
    I’ll get my dog Rover,
    You can have six inches more!

  7. There once was a man from Nantucket, who had such a long dick he could suck it. He said with a grin, while wiping his chin. If my ear was a hole I would fuck it!
    There once was a man from Boston who bought him a baby austin. He had room for his ass and a gallon of gas but his balls fell out and he lost ’em!

  8. Anantmeister says:

    Here’s one from me – hope you find it funny..

    Once was a dog with hind leg missing,
    He pleasured his bitch licking and kissing,
    For since he was lam
    Doggy-style was not his game
    He couldnt even go lamp-post pissing!

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