Funny Gavin & Stacey Quotes And Catchphrases To Laugh At Again!

Let’s giggle at these classic and still very funny Gavin And Stacey quotes by all the main characters.

The cast of Gavin & Stacey. Source: BBC

Catchphrases In Gavin And Stacey Episodes:

  • Nessa: “What’s occuring?”
  • Nessa: “I won’t lie to you”
  • Stacey: “That’s well lush”
  • Smithy: “Gavlar!”
  • Smithy: “Pamlar!”
  • Pam: “Mick! Mick!”
  • Gwen: “Would you like an omlette?”
  • Dave Coaches: “Alright sugar tits”
  • Bryn: “Nooooo Jason!”
  • Pam: “Oh my christ!”
  • Gwen: “Oh hiya love!”
  • Nessa: “Genuine”
  • Nessa: “Tidy!”

Best Quotes From Episodes Of Gavin And Stacey

Funny Nessa Quotes

  • Nessa: “I just can’t believe I’m pregnant by Smithy, out of all the people I’ve slept with, not Nigel Havers, John Prescott, not any of Goldie Looking Chain!”
  • Nessa: “Sling your hook you pervert or I’ll break your arm.”
  • Nessa: (when very drunk) ” At the end of the day…when all’s said an done…d’ya know what I mean?”
  • Nessa to Dave: “Look, I think you’re a cracking bloke, Dave, but let’s face it, you’re riddled.”
  • Nessa: “I’ll tell you something Gwen, this omelette is immense.”
  • Nessa: “If it weren’t for John Prescott I’d still be in that jail right now.”
Nessa quote, “I Know. I feels it.” Source: BBC

Funny Uncle Bryn Quotes

  • Uncle Bryn: “I’ve just been updating the MySpace, I’ve got 17 friends now, I’m snowed under!”
  • Uncle Bryn: (when he mistakes Gavin for a Jehovous Witness) “Well, let’s have a coffee and celebrate Christmas!”
  • Uncle Bryn: (talking about his camera with Gavin sat on his lap) “It’s got sepia, although i think it’s faulty because it just makes everything brown.”
  • Uncle Bryn: “The truth is, I don’t want anybody in this room being raped, myself included.”
  • Uncle Bryn: “You think you’ve tried it all. You think there can’t possibly be anywhere else to go with it. And then they come up with this, Mint Bailey’s.”
  • Uncle Bryn: (singing James Blunt) “Goodbye my friend, goodbye my lover…”

Funny Smithy Quotes

  • Smithy: (ordering Indian takeaway) “Chicken bhuna, lamb bhuna, prawn bhuna, mushroom rice, bag of chips, keema naan, 9 poppadoms.”
  • Smithy: (referring to Nessa) “We’ve got to call in a garage, I ain’t going in there bareback.”
  • Smithy: (about his girlfriend Lucy) “17 and 3/4 actually and she just got 90% on her driving theory and her test is in two weeks but whatever.”
  • Smithy: (sitting down for breakfast saying he’s not hungry) “I’ll just have a couple of sausages, some of that bacon, and an egg, just the one. Just ain’t got much of an appetite you know.”
  • Smithy: (eating KFC with Nessa) “what is that secret blend of 11 herbs and spices”.
  • Smithy: (ordering food) “yours comes with onion rings anyway, so give his chips to me. Put his chips on my plate and just leave him with the onion rings. But two actual portions, don’t just put a couple of chips on the top because I’ll know right. I want two full portions.”

Funny Gwen Quotes

  • Gwen: “Oh I know love, but let him be, you know Bryn’s a giver!”
  • Gwen: (telling Bryn what’s in his omelette) “I’ve tried something different this time, it’s got yesterdays beef in it”
  • Gwen: (to Bryn when he’s singing) “Do we have to have James Blunt all the way home?”

Funny Doris Quotes

  • Doris: “Thing to remember is don’t go giving him nothing on the first night. Well no, not nothing. A kiss, a cuddle, a cheeky finger, just don’t go selling the whole farm.”
  • Doris: (sticking two fingers up at Nessa) “There’s your salad!!”
  • Doris: (after getting an email from Glenda) “She’s made a twat of me!”
  • Doris: “I haven’t been down the island for years Mick. Why not, doughnut, bag of chips, I’m your girl. I’ll have to take out my bikini. Joking I am Gav, one piece it is (wink).”
  • Doris: “I told him to stick it Pam coming over here taking our jobs” (Pamela then asks where the worker was from, Poland?), “Nooo, Newport.”
  • Doris: “She lives for the day she can change her name from West, what with all the connotations and what have you, and what does she become? A Shipman!”

Funny Pamela Quotes

  • Pam: “I’m absolutely shattered, I’ve been crying all afternoon. That ‘Pet Rescue’, there was this badger and all it’s litter died – and you could actually see the mother badger crying.”
  • Pam: (during an argument with Mick about steak) “No and do you know why, because you will be up that golf club tomorrow giving it all this – ‘Do you know what my fat disgusting wife had last night, 3 steaks.’ Then they’ll go home and tell their wifes and before you know it I’ll be known as ‘3 steaks pam’.”
  • Pam: “I had 4 cheeseburgers the other day with Big Fat Sue. We ate them in a carwash.”
  • Pam: (winding up Mick about his TV appearance) “Here he is, look at all the paparazi!”
  • Pam: “Oh my Christ!”

Funny Dave Coaches Quotes

  • Dave: “Alright sugar tits hows it’s going?”
  • Dave: “My motto is; fags and weed, glue and speed. But I draws the line at crack. That way everyone knows where they stand.”
  • Dave: (grumpy with Nessa) “You talking about the Calor gas, or our relationship”.
  • Dave: “Right, welcome to Dave’s Coaches. Dave’s the name, bingo’s the game, so sit back, everybody, and enjoy the ride.”

Funny Dawn And Pete Quotes

  • Dawn to Pete: “Excuse me if I’ve forgotten what love looks like you pathetic lump of shit.”
  • Dawn to Mick: “Chill out grandad!”
  • Dawn to Pam: “I will back you all the way, hit her in the face”
  • Dawn to Pete: “You make me sick.”

And let’s not forget the two main characters, Gavin and Stacey themselves!

Funny Stacey Quotes

  • Stacey: (talking about masturbating) “Like yesterday, I had three just watching Cash In The Attic.”
  • Stacey: (explaining to Gav why she didn’t tell him Nessa was pregnant) “You know when we were away and I said I had something to tell you. And I told you about Nessa being in the original line-up of All Saints but she had to leave because she didn’t get on with Shaznay. I was trying to tell you then.”
  • Stacey: “That’s well lush”

Funny Gavin Quotes

  • Gavin: “My balls work!”
  • Gavin: “Well I never thought I’d come back here (Barry) I only came down that first time so I could shag you again.”
  • Gavin: (pointing at Smithy when chatting to a woman in the nightclub) “He’s the fat one in G4”.
  • Gavin: (singing with Smithy in the Christmas special!) “And it’s a world of dread and fear! Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears…”

Memorable Scenes

All lovers of the show can remember the best scenes from it. Play a little game now, which would you say is your favourite?

Let’s list some fantastic scenes to see whether you think they rank.

  1. Funny KFC sceneThe scene where Pete and Dawn are renewing their vows and Pete uses Coldplay lyrics for his speech will always be one to bring tears of joy to the eyes.
  2. When Mick was going to be a celebrity on TV and the news only interviewed him for a few seconds!
  3. When Smithy and Uncle Bryn do a sweaty home gym workout together.
  4. When Nessa and Smithy enjoyed a late night KFC together.
  5. When Bryn and Nessa sang Islands in the Stream at Gwen’s surprise birthday barn dance.
  6. When things starting going sour between Gavin and Stacey and they had to move apart. They weren’t funny scenes, they were emotional, but arguably some of the most memorable.

If you loved the theme tune also check out this page and you can have a singalong!

If you have a classic quote you love then leave it in the forum below.

One Comment

  1. Slim Brady says:

    Time to watch the Christmas specials again, they’re still epic!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.