Hello Ladies Funny Quotes from Season 1

Hello Ladies Quotes from Season 1

The first season of the new Stephen Merchant comedy was very good, not ground-breaking or a headline grabber but it was a very nice, easy and funny watch. If you haven’t seen it and would like to watch it then you may still be able to catch up with it on Sky On Demand – depending on when you are reading this of course.

At the time of writing it isn’t released yet on blu-ray or DVD but is shown on Amazon with alerts when it comes available.

The inevitable references to Gervais and Merchant’s previous work will crop up in reviews of this show. I won’t bang on about that, all I will say is if you like their previous work you will really like this. Although it is only Merchant who has worked on the Hello Ladies TV series it still has the same polished professional execution. With the same style of awkward humor brilliantly done by Stephen Merchant. Writing credits also go to Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg who worked on The Office.

What Is The TV Series About?

It is about a geeky English web designer called Stuart. Living in Los Angeles and on a constant quest to find the woman of his dreams. There is also a subplot with his tenant Jessica (played by the very loveable Christine Woods) who is also single and trying to achieve her hopes and dreams.

You can read a full episode guide on the Wiki page. Looking back through the list I don’t recall a single bad episode!

Funny Lines From Hello Ladies First Season

Stephen Merchant Quote in Hello Ladies
Stephen Merchant as Stuart with a quote from Hello Ladies episode.

Now the series is over here are some of the funniest quotes from all the episodes. It is the style of comedy where the humor is in the situation and the awkwardness, but these lines are still pretty good!

Nate Torrence as Wade
Nate Torrence as Wade

Stuart with Wade being smooth with good conversation to a couple of girls: “Seattle is actually the Suicide capital of the world.”

  • “I hope you’ve brought your bikinis because it’s going to get pretty wild in here.” Camera pans across to see Wade having sun cream rubbed on his back by a fat bald man.
  • Stuart thinks he is being mugged not realising its a prank: “Sir if I lick your balls can I definitely keep my wallet please”.
  • Stuart to Jessica about her noisy love life: “No I don’t listen to you, but can I suggest you close your sliders once in a while, cuz I can barely hear myself masturbate.”
  • Kives puts a camera down his pants and takes a photo and says: “hope I didn’t blink!”.
  • Christine Woods as Jessica
    Christine Woods as Jessica

    “I think my aunt might be a lesbian. She certainly dresses like one.”

  • Stuart asked by model agency owner Andy if he would “go ethnic”. He responds: “it’s a good question. I think in the right circumstances I would.”
  • Stuart trying to buy his way in to a cool club after not being on the VIP list. Holds a ten dollar note out and says “how about 7 bucks. Just give me 3 dollars back.”
  • One of the funniest moments of the whole series had to be in the last episode. This isn’t a quote. It’s a photo that Kives sent. It was hilarious. So funny I had to pause it and take a quite snap on my phone. And here it is!

    Kives funny photograph in wheelchair.
    Kives funny photograph in wheelchair.

    If you’re brave enough you can even click that thingy to see it in even bigger dimensions.

    You can share your own thoughts and favourite lines in the section below.


    1. lasertest says:

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    2. Andrei Punte says:

      I’ve already watched the first season. It’s great. I’ve read some critiques that kind of put it down, but I really like it. I can see a bid of Darren Lamb in his character from Hello Ladies, maybe a little bit too much, but that’s ok as I liked him best in the Extras series. I’m looking forward to season two, hopefully it will come out.

    3. Linkzelda41 says:

      Oh man, this sounds like an interesting adult comedy series, and I was sort of surprised of the last pic being sent as a picture message hahaha!

      The collection of quotes you had there definitely was easy to imagine in my head, especially the part with “I hope you’ve brought your bikinis because it’s going to get pretty wild in here.” Getting a mental image of a fat bald man in tandem with that quote is both creepy and hilarious!

      For Stuart to resort to a really crazy joke even though he didn’t know he was being prank just shows this guy is going to pull out all the stops in serious circumstances. Not sure if there was a pun intended for bigger dimensions, but either way, thanks for giving me a series of chuckles and laugh for this post! Might be another series I’ll check out in the near future, seems that it may be chock-full of sexual innuendos and double entendre.

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