Doc Brown’s Awesome Comedy Rap Lyrics!

Doc Brown rapping on BBC3 Good News show.
Doc Brown rapping on BBC3 Good News show.
Doc Brown has performed at the Edinburgh Fringe, been a guest on ITV Comedy Rocks, done lots of work with Ricky Gervais, and he’s done a bit of music too!

If you like Doc he has a variety of audio downloads and music releases you can buy. Look out for his gig tickets as well to catch him live. Here is one of his funniest musical routines, this is ‘My Proper Tea’ (video further downP.

Proper Tea Lyrics

Here are the lyrics, then watch the video below them!

    I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking,
    I bring you to my house as a friend in my kitchen,
    You offered to make the tea naturally I said yes your my guest so I take the offer gratefully,
    But then what I see made my heart burst,
    You’ve only gone and put the fucking milk in first!
    No you must be out of your mind,
    Looks like you went and poured about half a pint,
    Now even with the boiling water my teas already lukewarm,
    Man where the fuck were you born,
    Nah you destroyed the thing that was sacred,
    Pour it down the sink let me show you how to make it.
    Tea bag in first pour the water on top,
    Shut up man I’ll tell you when to stop,
    Then you know exactly how much milk is required,
    Making assumptions on how I like it,
    Whoa whoa whoa what you doing don’t let the tea bag sit there brewing,
    You gotta stir straight away don’t stop,
    Otherwise you get that weird scum on the top.
    And now you put my sugar in, what’d you leave it for,
    Didn’t even stir it in you’re unbelievable,
    What did you think it would disintegrate itself,
    Bruv you need to go and see a shrink and get some help,
    You chose the wrong brothers cuppa to mess with,
    Now go and get me a mother fucking digestive,
    Stay away the hell from my cup bitch,
    Don’t even meddle with my kettle don’t touch it,
    Man go sit down go watch tele,
    And give me back my teaspoon bruv you’re not ready.

About Doc Brown

Ben Bailey Smith, who performs under the name Doc Brown, is a performing artist specializing in rap, stand-up comedy, and a combination of the two.

Born in London in 1997, Smith had spent most of his life as a rap artist until 2008, when he decided to move into stand-up comedy. Despite his inexperience, he performed well enough to reach the final eight of a national British talent show called “So You Think You’re Funny.”

Since then, he has become a full-fledged comedy star, performing at notable London locations like the Soho Theater and teaming up with Ricky Gervais for a tour in Norway. Brown has recently leveraged his exposure as a rap comedian to break into television, taking acting roles in British television shows such as “Rev” and “Miranda”, as well as co-directing “4’O Clock Club” with Mikis Michaelides on BBC. For this show, Brown also starred, created music, and wrote. To his efforts in television, Brown adds four released music albums and a variety of comedy appearances across the world.


  1. maripereira says:

    This is one of the cases where you can’t afford to skip the video! His performance makes the song ten times funnier. I was cracking up at how angry he seemed, even rapping about something as simple as tea. But I guess you don’t mess with tea when in Britain, right?

    Loved this guy, will go look for more material from him!

  2. “Don’t even meddle with my kettle” good one good one!! Can’t wait to see more of him!!

  3. cookiesandcream says:

    I have always been a big fan of rap so thanks for introducing Doc Brown! I hate it when people pour the milk in first. I mean c’mon, how hard is it? I love this! My favourite line is “Stay away the hell from my cup bitch”.

  4. He reminds me of Bo Burnham with his funny raps and songs. And I love Bo so I will definitely check this guy out.

  5. this dude is funny haha as i youtube him

  6. warmweatherwoman says:

    This guy is HILARIOUS!!! I’ve never heard of him before today…I will definitely be on the look out for more from him!! I know English people take their Tea Time serious…and I almost spit my soda out of my nose when he screamed “You went and gone and put the fucking milk in first”!!!!! Too funny! Great share!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.