QI Episode Quotes and Stats – by Stephen Fry and Guests

QI is the popular BBC comedy which has been running for many years now. Here are some funny lines from the show as well as statistics in book.


Some of the series have been released on DVD, and you can also get an interactive DVD game if you think you have the knowledge to score positive points!

Funny Quotes from QI Episodes

  • Stephen Fry – “What’s the opposite of a flying fish?” Sean Lock answers “Tunnelling flamingo.”
  • Jimmy Carr – “It’s just so stupid. Beating your wife…it’s your wife, it’s like keying your own car!”
  • Alan Davies – “Nuns farts smell like soufflé.”
  • Stephen Fry – “That would be a bearded tit.” Alan Davies replies “You’re thinking of Rory McGrath.”
  • Jeremy Hardy – “You are basing all this on what Stephen Hawking says, and the fact is, he’s subject to interference from mini-cabs.”
  • Stephen Fry – “Do you know the difference between a frog and a toad?” Alan Davies replies “Spelling.”
  • Johnny Vegas – “My dad killed my pet rabbit and fed it to me.”
  • Stephen Fry – “What’s the ideal way to kiss a Frenchman?” Alan Davies replies “With their consent?”

Funny Statistics from QI Book

  • In 1881, there were only six men in Britain called Derek.
  • Women buy 80% of everything that is for sale.
  • Under extreme high pressure, diamonds can be made from peanut butter.
  • Tintin is called Tantan in Japanese because TinTin is pronounced ‘Chin chin’ and means penis.
  • Ants can survive in a microwave: they are small enough to dodge the rays (probably best not to test this out though).
  • In 1999, Darlington FC acquired 50,000 worms to irrigate their waterlogged pitch. They all drowned.
  • In his first year at Harrow, Winston Churchill was bottom of his whole school.

More About QI

For a night of pure fun, Quite Interesting – or ‘QI’ definitely delivers.

The panel is made up of four talented comedians, so you know there will be lots of laughs. Three guest panelists are featured each episode along with show regular Alan Davies, who fills the fourth seat. They are asked to answer vague, unusual questions in delightful ways.

Points are earned for being funny and interesting and are deducted for being boring or repeating everyday knowledge.
The point is to entertain and QI does not disappoint. The final round is called, “General Ignorance” and is particularly fun.

Panellists are happy if they just end the round with a positive score, but it’s a lot of fun when they don’t.

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