Ronnie Corbett Jokes & Quotes

Legendary actor and comedian Ronnie Corbett, who died in March 2016, was a top entertainer all the way back from the 1950s.

Ronnie first became known after appearing on the satirical show, “The Frost Report,” but is best known for his long-term collaboration with Ronnie Barker on, “The Two Ronnies.” He would appear in a V-necked jumper in a leather chair, taking several minutes to tell a joke, often allowing himself to lose his train of thought.

Known for his love of golf and his short stature (during National Service he was the British Forces’ shortest commissioned officer), his lack of height often crops up as part of his gently self-deprecating humour. Corbett also starred in the popular 1980s sitcom, “Sorry!” in which he played a middle-aged librarian still living at home with his domineering mother.

Ronnie Corbett

Here are some quotes and jokes by this legend.

  • In the English Channel, a ship carrying red paint has collided with one carrying purple paint. Both crews have been marooned.
  • Tonight we’ll be talking to a car designer who’s crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with The Hatchback of Notre Dame.
  • West Mercia police want to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but have been told they must wear their uniforms.
  • A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
  • Ronnie (Barker) was pure gold in triplicate – as a performer, a writer and a friend.
  • There was a fire at the Inland Revenue office in London, but it was put out before any serious good was done.
  • A government survey reveals the Prime Minister is doing the work of two men. Laurel and Hardy.
  • My wife tries not to bring out the beast in me – she’s afraid of mice.

Enjoy a bit of Ronnie:



In his later years Ronnie did TV outings as guest host for the likes of, “Strictly Come Dancing,” and “Have I Got News for You,” and appeared in “Little Britain Abroad.” In February 2010, Corbett was cast in a major role in the John Landis thriller comedy film Burke and Hare. Books and DVDs of “The Two Ronnies,” are still available, as is Corbett’s autobiography, “High Hopes.” It’s well worth a read.

Thank you Ronnie for all the laughs that you created for so many people.

One Comment

  1. This is such classic comedy. Wholehearted, innocent, and full of puns. This is the type of stuff that almost anybody could enjoy!

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