Quotes by Jack Whitehall

He may only have been born in 1988, but this funny guy is already making it big in comedy. Hollywood trade bible, Variety, named him as one of the 10 hottest ‘comics to watch’. The magazine has praised Jack as, “a wild stand-up act who mines a lot of raw, personal material.” Frenetic energy, self-deprecation and mock indignation are his trademarks.

Jack Whitehall ComedianJack Whitehall is perhaps best known for presenting Big Brother’s Big Mouth, Celebrity Big Brother and topical entertainment show TNT Show, also on Channel 4. He has appeared on a string of other TV shows, including Mock the Week, and been nominated for or won several comedy awards.

Funny Jokes by Jack Whitehall

  • I’ve never laughed a woman into bed, but I’ve laughed one out of bed many times.
  • ‘No, mate, you came here because you screwed up your A-levels.’(Reply to a heckler at Warrington University, who told Whitehall he’d ‘come here for comedy.’)
  • People say you learn from your mistakes. That’s b*ll*cks – we stumble through life making the same mistakes. We just get better at dealing with the fallout.
  • We’re both energetic, we have similar hair and both like tight jeans. But we’re so different in our comedy style and most other things. (On comparisons between him and Russell Brand.)
  • She didn’t want to be my friend at school. She’ll probably be in a queue of people who are after me. We found some socks with her name tag in so we whacked them on eBay. We thought, ‘She’s doing well for herself, let’s make some money.’ I can’t recall what we got for the socks but it wasn’t over a fiver. (On actress Emma Watson.)
  • Our parents know each other a bit and my hair is just as good as his. (On Twilight heartthrob Robert Pattinson.)
  • I feel like a divorced woman in her 40s, all I need is some cat hair and it’ll be complete
  • I was so hot, I sweated like Mel Gibson at a bar mitzvah!
  • I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.

Here he is on the Graham Norton Show:

Whitehall’s Edinburgh show, Learning Difficulties, transfers to the London Soho theatre in September 2010. It follows last year’s sell-out Edinburgh Comedy Award-nominated run. He also stars in Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow, broadcast this autumn.

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